p.s. cake.

William is a pretty decent eater. I mean, the kid loves hot dogs with ketchup and mustard a lot but he also eats other things (when he's actually hungry). I know some toddlers who refuse to eat anything other than chicken nuggets so I think that's a win. But if I catch him after a too-late nap and try to prepare a snack for him without the proper preparation or presentation . . . well, I might as well have just committed a crime worthy of the gallows.

That said, you can imagine how hilarious this was to me when I read the Honest Approved Toddler Recipes list. Haha! So great. Oh, motherhood.

Dear mommy & daddy,

I recently read somewhere (I think the Bible) that you can't blame ignorant people for being ignorant if you refuse to help them stop being so ignorant. With that thought in mind, I've decided to write down a few recipes to make mealtimes easier for all of us.

Both of you seem to be confused concerning what a "meal" is. Meals aren't supposed to be punishment, they are supposed to be delicious. Do you understand? Please let me know if I'm going too fast or blowing your mind open.

Dinnertime is hard for all of us and I know why: you have terrible recipes. I've compiled several of my favorites below. Please print them out and put them on a fridge using a magnet. When it's time for cooking, follow it and don't get creative.Honest Toddler Approved Recipes

1. Toast with Butter

Hold on to your seat! This is a yummy one!!

Step 1: Find an unbroken piece of perfect bread with no rips.

Step 2: Put in toaster. Don't get distracted by a Facebook fight you have no business participating in.

Step 3: When toast pops out, INSPECT IT. Is it a uniform golden brown color? Is it still intact? If not, return to Step 1.

Step 4. Butter toast liberally.

Step 5: Ask toddler how he or she would like toast prepared or cut. Don't make assumptions. You don't know anything about anything.

Step 6: Serve toast.

Step 7: Has toddler changed their mind about toast? Does toddler want cut up toast to be whole again? Repair toast with your mind. If you're not powerful enough, return to Step 1 AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES DON'T BE LAZY

2. Pasta with Butter

Mmmmmm! This is will be a hit every time!

Step 1: Make pasta on the stove using a pot and steam or smoke.

Step 2: Put pasta in a toddler-approved small bowl.

Step 3: Put in lots of butter. Don't be shy or cheap.

Step 4: Mix it up properly.

Step 5: Blow until it's the right temperature. We will be very angry if it's too hot. VERY ANGRY.

Step 6: Do we have juice?

Step 7: Resist the urge to add spices or parmesan cheese which is not actual cheese but very small flakes of dry cheese and disgusting. If there is something wrong in your head and you try to add a puree of garbanzo beans or nutritional yeast you are not ready to be a parent.

Step 8: Serve pasta.

Step 9: Accept graciously that your toddler may no longer be hungry or may want toast (*see recipe above).

3. Crackers and Cheese
Step 1: Find an appropriate box of crackers. Ritz and Saltines are both OK. Crackers with visible seeds are NOT.

Step 2: Select 7-8 unbroken crackers. Place them on a plate.

Step 3: Select a normal, non-artisan cheese like mild cheddar. Cut squares that are all the same shape. Don't let cracker crumbs stick to the cheese. Please take some pride in your work.

Step 4: Serve with juice in front of shows.

4. Cereal

Step 1: Find a good cereal. Good cereals have pieces that are all the same (ie. not granola). If you are a wonderful parent, you own a cereal like Corn Pops.

Step 2: Put cereal in a toddler-approved bowl. Ask the toddler before pouring if the bowl is OK.

Step 3: Ask the toddler if he or she would like milk.

Step 4: Pour milk.

Step 5: Serve cereal.

Step 6: After toddler has eaten 1-2 bites, throw away cereal without sighing or having a bad attitude.

Step 7: Pour 1 cup or dry cereal into a ziploc bag.

Step 8: Give to toddler to eat around the house and in front of shows.

Congratulations! Now you know how to cook for that special toddler in your home. Remember, the kitchen is not your personal science laboratory wherein family members are forced to consume your failed results. That's pretty selfish, no?

If you get confused about cooking, ask grandma. She has many good recipes including but not limited to chicken nuggets.

I love you. xoxo HT

PS. Cake.

Originally posted on The Honest Toddler (sorry but I can't find the original link).

brotherly love

I love my boys so much. They really love each other and it makes me melt. Frederick's eyes sparkle with delight when his big brother is near and William loves to kiss his baby and tell him he loves him. The other day both of the boys were on my bed. William was laying by Frederick and I was folding clothes. He was talking to Frederick and said, "Ohhhhh, baby. You're so cute. (kiss) Good job baby! You're so smart! (kiss)". Frederick cooed. I melted. This is happiness.

frederick: five months

I wish you could hear the giggle coming out of this sweet baby boy in this picture. I love his laugh. I love the way his eyes shine when his big brother is in his line of vision. I love the way he wants to play with him at any opportunity. I love watching him greet new milestones. I love that he is fitting into one of my favorite hand-me-down outfits and looks so cute in it. I love that he loves me in the morning without makeup, crazy bed head and stinky breath. I love how he'll smile at any friendly face, especially that dashing baby in the mirror. How he loves him so! I adore this sweet baby boy. His freshness, his smell, his happy personality. I love being his mother.

sunshine is just beyond the clouds

I don't know how to begin this post. Mostly because I'm not sure if I should write it. I try to keep this blog really light-hearted and to focus on the good things. Not because I want anyone to have any sort of false idea that my life is "perfect" but because I want to remember the positive things in my life when I look back and read my blog books. However, there are some important things that happen in my life that are sometimes not so happy.

I don't want to get into the details or wallow too much in self-pity but I've been struggling with a bit of post-partum depression recently. I thought I was handling life with two kids pretty well until about three weeks ago and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I have some dear friends who have struggled with PPD in the past and I could never really empathize with them. I mean, "having a baby is the best!", "why would you ever feel sad when you have a sweet, healthy baby?", "how could anyone not love everything about being a mom?" Well, I understand now about feeling overwhelmed and feeling physically sick because my life is chaos. I understand about not finding joy in small things like I used to. I understand about feeling incredible guilt piling on top of me every time I fail to do something I want or need to. I understand what it's like feel ashamed that motherhood wasn't fulfilling me like it used to. This was not me and I certainly felt like something was wrong. In reality, these feelings had nothing to do with my children, my husband or even my life. I knew that but I was still struggling to be happy.

Things have gotten better since those days when everything felt like a hot mess. One of my best friends gave me some good advice and cautioned me to not let things spiral downward. That gave me the boost I needed to make some necessary changes I needed to get me out of this hole. The first step was realizing that my hormones were creating havoc on me physically and emotionally and I had to give myself a break. It's not because I am a bad mom. The second was to remember that this phase doesn't last forever. The hard moments will fade away and the good moments, if I focus on them, will create a memory to buoy up my strength the next time I feel down. For all the tears I've shed lately I have learned a few valuable lessons: 

1. Prayer and meditation are key to connecting my spirit and body. Having some time every day to be quiet and think really improves my overall feeling about my life. The other evening I put on my ear buds and took a walk at twilight by myself. I listened to this talk and prayed. I cried in relief as I heard a prophet of the Lord say, "Tenderly the Master speaks to these and indeed to all: 'Come back. Come up. Come in. Come home. Come unto me.'" It renewed me and helped me remember that God loves me, as imperfect as I am, and that I can improve with His help.

2. Fill your life with as much joy as you can. Every time I felt sad or overwhelmed over the last few weeks, I would stop and tell myself to look around and find at least one thing that made me grateful. Things tend to pile up on my grateful list as I start naming my blessings one by one. I also found that surrounding myself with my closest friends was really helpful. Even though I didn't feel like socializing (really out of character for me) I forced myself and it made me feel so much better.

3. Don't sweat the small stuff. I used to find this so much easier to do but lately, the cereal crunched into my rug or the blocks I've tripped over and the screaming kids in the car on the way to the grocery store made me burst into tears. I started just laughing one day at the ridiculousness of it all and it made me realize that it's all OK. I'm doing just fine. The cereal can be vacuumed up, the blocks can be put away and we will complete our grocery store outing in one piece. 

4. Sleep. Duh, right? Don't stay up late because it's the only time you have to yourself. Put the kids to bed, take a bath and go to bed. You won't regret it in the morning.

5. Make good, small choices. I realized that by choosing to eat something healthy instead of ten cookies for lunch or by choosing to read to William instead of getting on the computer while the baby napped, I felt so much better about how the day went. Those things may seem insignificant at the moment but at the end of the day, when I'm evaluating everything, those choices make me feel better or worse depending on what I chose.

I look at my life and it is really good. Really, really good. I have this awesome husband who is sweet and supportive. He tries so hard to make me happy. I am so grateful for him. I have two sweet, healthy, happy boys who make my life really joyful. I have a wonderful family, health, happiness and so many other things and I want to concentrate on that. And it always helps to remember that "tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it".

so, I had this date . . .

Last weekend I had a date with this really cute boy named William. We went to get ice cream and even though I paid, he wasn't a great conversationalist, had terrible table manners and wouldn't stop talking about "Daddy" I still kissed him good night. I definitely think we'll be seeing each other again.

It was a much needed date. After having a new baby in my life and a crazy summer with vacations and guests galore, our relationship was kind of struggling. Our date didn't last long and halfway through his treat he said, "We go see Daddy now" and walked to the car. Kind of sad but still, there are glimpses during the day when William looks at me and smiles his shy grin, or snuggles up in my lap and gazes at me while I hold him like a baby, that I know he still only has eyes for me.

free as a bird (a naked bird)

On a particularly "warm" evening a few weeks ago, we stripped William down to nothingness after eating watermelon and let him roam around in the backyard. David filled up the watering can over and over again and gave it to Will so he could water the roses and other plants for me. I was cracking up watching his skinny, little body prance around on the grass. David would squirt him with the hose whenever he ventured near to fill up the can and scream and laugh hysterically. It made me smile so wide and I thought, "This is a perfect summer memory that I'll think back on when my children are older." I love being a mother to my boys.

And yes, I do feed him. In case you were wondering.

octobow

My in-laws took William to their house for a long weekend and it was really strange not having him around. It was like having one child again, which made it easy to be able to get some things done, but I missed my guy! We FaceTimed with him on Sunday afternoon and he was running around the house showing me everything and saying, "Look mama!" I just love that kid. 

I think Frederick really enjoyed some quiet, uninterrupted time with Mom and Dad. I think he also really enjoyed not being laid on to of or having random toys put on his head by his brother . . . wait, I just filled in for Will. 

 I have seriously cute boys. Just look at them bonding. My heart!

Now, excuse me while I go to the beach for David's family reunion. Then I'm off to Bluewater Days next week! I can't wait!!!!!

the sound of music

There's this song book all the members in my family grew up with. It's called "My Picture Book of Songs" (or known as "The Big Yellow Songbook" in our home growing up). Don't ask me how you can get one because I don't know if you can. If you don't have it, I'm so very sorry. It's filled with songs like "Jumbo Elephant", "Pitter Pat" (my favorite as a child), "Choo! Choo! Choo!" (William's favorite), "Dolly's Lullaby" and a different song for every holiday. It's magical.

I remember sitting on my mother's lap (and older siblings' laps) and bouncing up and down on one knee as the foot pedal was used. I loved to put my hands on top of my mom's hands and pretend like I was playing along. Now I do this with my boys and I love it (though, admittedly it's hard with Fritz's head bobbing around now and then). 


My mother's mother was a spectacular pianist (among many other talents) and had ten children. As far as I know, her children only play the piano a little bit, if at all. My mother can slowly make her way through some easy songs but she always loved having music in our home. She had eleven children and we were required to take piano lessons until we were proficient. I once asked her as a child why she wasn't better at playing the piano since her mother was so excellent at it. She explained that her mother's mother really pushed it and so she didn't force her children to play. I think my mom would like to be able play the piano a little better, which is why I think she encouraged it so much in our home. I can play the piano decently (not nearly as well as I used to be able to) but I hope that I can encourage our children to learn. I don't want it to skip another generation. I crave to have our home filled with the sound of music like mine was.

Do you play any instruments? I've wanted to learn to play the accordion after my trip to Paris in high school when I heard a man play it in the train station.

the good life

I was reading someone's blog the other day about how their almost two-year-old had never watched television before. As I read that I felt . . . shame, was it? Yes, shame. And also guilt. And also bewilderment. I definitely don't just plop my child down in front of the Sesame Street all day long but I really appreciate the gift of having something to occupy his time while I put the baby down for a nap or take a shower.

I was looking through pictures of when we first brought Frederick home from the hospital and came across this picture around Easter. I was laying on the couch (my frequent spot) and dozing off when William approached me with an Easter egg full of candy. I laughed as he put jelly bean after jelly bean into my mouth until the egg was empty. It probably wasn't the greatest diet for my postpartum belly but it sure made me smile and it reminded me how far I've come from the last few weeks of my pregnancy to now. Now I'm not laying on the couch during the day anymore while William pushes his cars along my legs. Instead I'm sitting on the couch, nursing the baby in one arm and reading stories to William in the other so he doesn't feel neglected. Ha!

I guess what I'm trying to say is, some days I'm a good mom and make games and crafts for William during the day. I make pretty healthy food, give lots of kisses, read stories and make sure my children are safe and clean while trying to teach a few valuable lessons along the way. If I turn on the TV during the day to give myself time to do something for myself, does that make me a bad mom? I don't think so.

Having two children has been an adjustment that is really joyful but also really exhausting. I thought I was tired with one . . . oh, how I miss that level of exhaustion! Most days are really good and I can confidently say that I think I'm a pretty dang good mom. I read a great quote the other day that said,

"Don't let a bad day make you think you have a bad life."

Wise words.

fresh powder

Around the beginning of the year William was starting to give up his nap. Mostly this was a result of me wanting freedom during the day to use the afternoon to go to the zoo or to the grocery store before starting dinner but also because I was resisting dealing with the temper tantrum of taking a nap. The trade off was the temper tantrum I got because he didn't take a nap. Anyway, a few months ago things were looking up after I put William back to bed over 70 times in one night. He was starting to understand that sleep time is non-negotiable. After I had the baby he has been taking regular 3-hour naps every day. He fights me every time but he needs it and is so much more pleasant after he's had his resting time. It makes having a newborn so much easier! I get a 3 hour(ish) window to do laundry, sit quietly and feed the baby or (shock) take a nap myself.

The other day while William was napping, I dozed off on the couch while feeding the baby. When I woke up, about 45 minutes later, I was feeling so great. The baby was snoozing in my arms. My laundry was folded and the house was quiet. I started to hear William puttering around in his room and reading books to himself. I posted on Facebook about how grateful I was that he had taken a nap and was being such a good boy. After a few minutes he came out of his room and I praised him for taking a nap and being in a good mood. I noticed a strong smell of baby powder but didn't think much of it because, hey, it smells good!

Then I got up from the couch and walked by his room and saw a thick layer of white. This pictures does not do it justice. He had dumped a whole bottle all over his room. Thank goodness it's just powder and vaccumed up easily and, even more imporantly, it smells nice in there now! I seriously just stood in his doorway and stared for a few minutes, took a couple of pictures and then left it there for David to clean up when he got home. Thanks honey!

newborn baby and newborn mama (again)

I always think that getting out of the house is going to be so good for my sanity, and a lot of times it is, but sometimes (usually near the end of an outing) it becomes apparent that leaving my nest was a really, really bad idea. Adjusting to life with more than one child has been difficult. William has been handling this "plus one" adjustment really well but even with his good behavior, he's still two and I still have a newborn who really loves to nurse and I really hate to cover up while I do that so we often stay at home where I don't have to put on a shirt all day and William watches a lot of movies while I drain my iPhone battery by lunchtime.

However, on Saturday, when David is home from work it seems a shame not to do something fun. So we ventured out to the zoo for a couple of hours right before closing time. It was surprisingly chilly and misty so we really bundled Frederick up and I think William was thrilled to be out of the house. We even got an up-close, backstage glimpse of an armadillo . . . but he screamed when it uncurled his body and the zookeeper let it walk around on the floor at our feet. I thought it was cute. Then we went to my favorite pizza place in San Diego, Pizzeria Luigi. Unfortunately they were out of my favorite slice (the Frenchie - honey ham, pear, bleu cheese, caramelized onions) but everything else we tried was delicious, including the best BBQ chicken pizza I've ever had. Yum!

By the time we got home that night and started to get William ready for bed, we realized he was feverish and shivering. The poor kid had a 102 temp and was breaking out in sweats. Staying up all night between feeding the baby and keeping cool cloths on William, made for a very tired family (William took a five hour nap today!) but I can't help but sigh with contentment every time I sit down to nurse Fritz and he wraps his tiny fingers around mine or when I lay down with Will and sing him "Golden Slumbers" and he strokes my neck while we snuggle. The love I have for my boys makes up for every exhausted, frustrating, makes-me-want-to-sob moment in my day. This feeling can't be described until you have a child, but oh, it's the best kind!

grandmary

My mom was here last week and it was lovely. I miss her. She cleaned my house, let me sleep in every morning while she took the baby, made batch after batch of scrambled eggs for Will (he's obsessed lately), gave me lots of good advice and was her super positive and complimentary self. My mom can boost anyone's self-esteem!

We also took pictures of her and Fritz and I'm so glad to have them. It makes me sad that my boys don't know their GrandMary as well as most of their cousins do but I guess that's the price you pay for living in paradise!

In other news: I'm in love with my baby boyfriend. He's so cute that sometimes I think I will blow up like Aunt Marge and float away because I love him so much.

now I need a nap

Still in that precious newborn/so-tired-my-eyes-are-going-permanently-crossed stage. But just look at this baby! I'm obsessed.

on having a new baby

I was super worried about coming home to William with a new baby. I think that's a common "mother concern" when you have more than one child. I also worried I wouldn't love this baby like I love William, which I'm told is another common concern. I have some very wise people in my life who said a few things that helped me so I thought I'd share them in case any of you are about to bring home another baby.

It's hard to imagine loving someone as much as you love your first child. My friend put it best when she said that you kind of "fall in love" with your baby. It does feel like that and so it's hard to imagine feeling that way again. My mom has eleven children and when I asked her how she could love so many of us the same, she said, "It's amazing how your love doesn't divide - it multiplies." One of my friend's husband said that being a parent is God's way of giving us the opportunity to understand His infinite love for all His children. Everyone said that I would love this baby as much as I love William and I believed them but I didn't really get how it would feel to love like a mother - similarly to how I felt when I was pregnant for the first time. Once the surrealness passed of having another child, and when I was able to bring Fritz home from the hospital, I felt that mother love wash over me. This is my baby too! I am completely over the moon, head over heels, obsessed in love with him. And seeing my two boys together sealed the deal in my heart.

My other concern was how William would react to Fritz. Luckily, we've been able to ease him into the idea by splitting attention between him and the baby since David has been home for a week and my mom will be here next week. So far he loves the baby. He kisses him, wants to hold him, wants to look at him, wants to sit by him and is generally excited by him. I am nervous about when I'm home on my own with the boys and William wants me to do something for him while I am nursing. One of my friends gave me some good advice the other day. She said that a toddler notices and understands when you choose the baby over them. The baby doesn't. So even though my natural instinct is to drop everything and handle the crying infant, if it's not urgent, then the baby can wait a minute. It'll be hard to do but I think it's an excellent point and it breaks my heart to think of William feeling like I'm choosing someone over him.

The best part of having another baby (other than the delicious smell, the newborn squeaks, the lip quivers, the snuggles, the warmth - should I go on?) is that I feel like a more complete family . . . for now. :)

sweet fritz

Childbirth is entirely exhausting and while I'm super ready for bed at this moment I want to document my sweet boy's birth before I forget the details. On Saturday night, my girlfriends and I went to the hospital to visit our friend whose water had broken at 32 weeks and was on bedrest there. I had been having contractions all day and by the time I got to the hospital, I was in really bad pain. After a few minutes of talking, my friends basically forced me to go to Triage to get checked.

The nurse checked me and declared that I was still 4 cm (what I had left the hospital at a few days before) but my contractions were very regular at about 2 - 3 minute incremements. They monitored me for a while and encouraged me to go upstairs, walk around and come back when/if they started getting stronger.

My friends are awesome and rubbed my feet and back in "labor inducing pressure points" to get things going while we chatted. After a couple of hours my contractions had slowed down a lot but I had been told to go back to Triage before leaving the hospital. I got back to Triage and as soon as I laid on the bed they started again. The nurse monitored my contractions and they were still every 3 minutes or so but I hadn't progressed so they sent me home to wait it out after giving me an Ambien so I could sleep through the night.

The next morning I woke up with pretty strong contractions but not entirely convinced they were anything. All day long, while watching General Conference, I labored with painful contractions about every 3 - 5 minutes. I refused to believe that I was in labor since there had been so many days of "false" labor. I hadn't eaten all day and was feeling pretty nauseous. At around noon I finally decided to go lie down on our bed. After laying there for about 30 minutes, my contractions had slowed to about 5 - 7 minutes apart, convincing me further that this was more prolonged false labor. I decided to get up and maybe go on a walk and as I stood up, my water broke all over the floor.

I yelled to David just as I felt an extremely strong contraction. Within a minute I was hit with another extremely painful contraction. I told him we had to go NOW. David got all our things together really quickly and put William in the car while I yelled for him to hurry. My contractions were coming every minute or two. I told him we didn't have time to drop off Will at our friend's house. I had to go to the hospital because I felt like I had to push. He got there rather quickly where I was greeted with a wheelchair and sped off to drop off Will and come back. They took me straight to labor and delivery where I insisted I needed to push. After checking me they concluded I was only at 7 cm so I asked for an epidural. The best part was that my sassy nurse, Yolanda, got in my face at this point and told me I needed to "chill out" or else I wouldn't get the epidural - I was freaking out at the pain and how fast this was all happening.

It took about 30 minutes but once I got the epidural I was feeling good. 20 minutes later I started to have pressure and pain. I told the nurse and she thought that I just needed more "juice" but after another dose wasn't helping she checked me and I was at 9 cm. She decided to call the doctor and I really felt like I had to push. I started to push and within 10 minutes he was out! The doctor barely made it! She was rushing to pull on her gloves and telling me, "Stop pushing or he's going to fall on the floor!" Can you imagine?

so exhausted.

Anyway, he's adorable. A great eater and super sleepy. We named him Frederick Russell Bryant and will probably call him Fritz for short. I love, love, love him.

on our way home - can't wait for my belly to not look like I'm pregnant anymore.

five things

This weekend was a doozy but I have a lot to be thankful for.

1. David has been so amazing. He has done laundry, taken sole care of our child, made meals, cleaned the house, rubbed my back when I cry about things (namely, being sick) and not complained once. I have a gem called husband.
2. I'm still amazed at the kindness of my friends. I am really humbled by how much people have helped out this last week. It makes me feel so undeserving because I've received more service in the last year than I'm sure I've given. I'm learning a huge lesson here. I appreciate it so much!
3. Antibiotics work. I am so grateful for modern medicine. Feeling so much better. Still wiped out if I do too much but I'm mending rapidly.
4. The baby's doing fine. I have been so worried about his well-being while being sick but seeing the doctor today really eased my mind. I can't wait to meet my little fellow.
5. Our bodies are amazing and so are our spirits.

P.S. Maxi dresses are saving my life. That is all.

nesting the nest

Nesting is in full gear, you guys. I've had a list of about a thousand things that I need to finish before the babe makes his grand debut. It's been staring me down on our refrigerator door and last week something clicked and I just had to start on it! I have this feeling that he is coming early so I've felt a strong sense of urgency in making this house spic-n-span.

Last Monday I actually pulled everything out of my pantry cupboards, wiped them out, organized legumes, pastas, baking goods and other non-everyday items into storage boxes and put it all back into neat, little rows. Then I pulled all my spices out and threw away the expired ones, cleaned the lids and put them back into neat, little rows. Then I went through the silverware drawer, wiped it out and organized them into neat, little rows. Do you sense a theme? I even scrubbed the little crevasses behind the sink faucet with a toothbrush. I instigated a chore calendar that I've been keeping up with all week and I've made the beds every day. Woop woop! There's something so refreshing about nesting and I'm dreading the inescapable domestic disaster that comes with having a newborn. I know that in three weeks or so, it's going to be a mess again, but for now I'm thoroughly enjoying the sparkliness of my kitchen and climbing into smooth sheets at the end of the day. I should be able to make my bed every day, don't you think?

my thoughts on sleep

Someone made a funny comment on Facebook the other day that all parents of children under two years old should be required to join a separate Facebook account (thus making us all write about poop, napping, eating habits and cute toddler phrases in one place). I'm totally one of those people on Facebook, and I'm sure many of my friends have blocked my statuses because they're tired of it, but other people post about their co-workers, their bosses, their work environment, what they ate for lunch and so on . . . I figure, being a stay-at-home mom is all those things in one. So, here's my "status" right now. I'm really tired. Like, really tired.

Once upon a time I thought that once you've sleep trained your baby to sleep on their own at night, you're free and clear. I sleep trained William at about 6 months (he had co-slept with us prior to that) using this technique and it really worked well for us. William was doing really great for a while (about a year) and it left me feeling good about my parenting abilities. About a month ago, we moved William out of his crib and into a queen size bed in preparation for the new baby and also because he was constantly climbing out of it. He did really great for a month or so but I started noticing that he was giving up his naps. Then I noticed that he was actually doing pretty well without a nap and if he did take a nap, he would stay up really late. I could live without the naps but the night time routine was really getting to us.

Long story short, after a few weeks of him coming into our bed at 3 a.m. every night to finish off his night-time rest, I had enough. I plan on co-sleeping again with the baby here in a few weeks and we needed to get William into his own bed independently ASAP. So, again following the advice of Dr. Weissbluth, we put William to bed last night after reading him stories and singing songs, but awake. Then David went to bed (we planned on taking turns at night) while I would silently and very nonreactively put William back to his bed every time he came out of his room. In the space of three hours I put him back into his bed a total of 78 times (I kept a record) without saying a word to him or even really looking at him. He finally fell asleep sometime before midnight and was exhausted all day.

Tonight though! I put him to bed at his normal bedtime (7 p.m.), which includes reading 3 books and singing one song and saying prayers. I told him that I loved him, that it was time for him to sleep and for Mommy and Daddy to sleep and that if he got out of bed that I wouldn't talk to him or play with him because it was bed time. He only came out of his room twice and after 30 minutes of that little game, he's passed out. If you're having trouble with your child's sleep habits, I totally recommend this book. I like it because it's very adaptable. There are others and some people like a more scheduled method and some like a softer approach (this is pretty cut and dry) but it worked for me.

goat cheese and walnut wrapped grapes

My friend, Lela, had her baby boy and I am in love with him. Isn't he the sweetest thing you ever did see? I went over to her house on Sunday to snuggle the little peanut and never wanted to give him back. It made me so excited to have another baby around here soon! 8 more weeks!!!

It's pretty customary to bring a new mother some sort of gift but I knew she would be taken care of with meals (especially since she has her mom, grandma and aunt there at the moment) and, I assume, plenty of sweets since people love to bring cookies and such. I know when I was pregnant and nursing a newborn, I was hungry all the time! I constantly wanted something to snack on but didn't want to "make" anything and, of course, it's super important to eat healthy all the time, but especially while nursing.

A couple of days ago I saw on Pinterest some red grapes wrapped in goat cheese and chopped walnuts. I knew Lela has a great love affair with goat cheese so I immediately knew I had to make these for her. They are the perfect post-partum snack! I am blown away by these facts:

Grapes: High in Vitamins A, C and K and antioxidants.
Goat Cheese: Fewer calories and lower in fat than cow's milk cheese. High in protein and calcium. It's also easier to digest than cow's milk cheese, which may help while nursing a baby that has a lactose intolerance. Contains probiotics which also helps get rid of that post-partum belly fat!
Walnuts: There is a link between omega-3 fatty acid deficiencies and post-partum depression. Walnuts are one of the tastiest and safest ways to get your omega-3s without consuming high mercury (especially if you're a vegetarian).

Anyway, I am just fascinated about food (obviously) and thought this was so amazing. Isn't food wonderful? These were so tasty and really easy to make. All you need is a bunch of red grapes (washed well), a log of goat cheese (chèvre) and about 1/2 cup finely chopped walnuts.

You simply take a piece of goat cheese about the size of a silver dollar and press it flat with your fingers. Place a grape in the center and fold the cheese around the grape until it's completely covered. Roll the cheese ball in between your hands until it's a nice, solid ball. Then roll in the chopped walnuts (you may need to press them in lightly with your fingers) and repeat! So easy!

a story of finding no one

When I was a little girl baby my mom had a cassette tape of children's songs that I loved to listen to. The only song I distinctly remember on that tape was called "No One Like You" sung by John Denver. Now, you all remember my aforementioned love for JD (if you've been reading a long time), right? I've had this song in the back of my mind for years. I've sworn to sing it to my children but I could not find the music, lyrics, audio or video anywhere (and I looked hard)!

For my birthday this year my mom bought me this Children's Songbook. It's an updated version of the one that my mom and sisters would play on the piano for me as a child so it was a great gift to receive! One day as I was looking through the book I saw it! The piano music to "No One Like You"! The small excerpt above the song confirmed that this was it.

"In 1983, John Denver joined the Muppets in a TV special called 'Rocky Mountain Holiday'. Many of the songs had themes that related to being outdoors. One of the exceptions was this lovely lullaby that Denver sang to Kermit's nephew, a small frog named Robin. There is no one exactly like Robin, or like any of the other Muppets, for that matter. And there's no one exactly like you!"

I squealed with delight when I realized that this was the song that had so much sentimental value to me! With William by my side on the piano bench and his sticky fingers lightly pressing on the top keys, I played and sang the song. I got a little emotional as I thought about my childhood and my sweet mother. Then I looked it up on YouTube one more time and found this video from the movie. After all these years, I hadn't realized it was from a movie! So, here it is. Good ol' John Denver singing with his beautiful syrupy voice to a small, green puppet and stroking him in a sleeping bag. How sweet.