January 16, 2012

giving the best part

While reading my {gem of a} sister-in-law's blog a couple of months ago, I read this post. As I read I felt a string of strong emotions. First, I smiled when I saw what my brother had done. I guess growing up at the end of the family with Marcus has given me a lot of time to observe his behavior and it was just kind of funny. Then as I read my sister-in-law's reaction I felt gratitude. I was so thankful that my brother's loving wife had the kind of character to not react hastily to this situation. I was thankful that she considered my sweet brother's feelings. I was thankful that she thought of him before herself (this is the key to marriage, if you were wondering). I felt a few tears in my eyes as I said a little prayer of thanks that my brother found this girl to be his wife.
hours before David proposed.
The next emotion I felt was humility. Ashley brought up that responding in anger to the situation would accomplish venting for her and the definite guilt of Marcus. I struggle with "accomplishing" this goal too often. When things don't go my way I have a pretty short fuse and when I react to the lighting of that fuse, I always regret it later.

Over the last few weeks I've been re-reading my personal journals where I've spilled important realizations I've had about myself. It's helped inspire and remind me about the bad choices I've made and what I've learned from them. Reading Ashley's post inspired me to do better and I appreciate blogs where I feel renewed to change for the better. I guess that's why I'm posting this here (and admitting my shortcomings).

I loved what I once heard on an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" (one of the greatest TV shows ever) when Debra said, "Doesn't your family deserve the best part of yourself?" It struck me how when we're in public or with a group of people, I'm on my best behavior. I'm more kind and forgiving of little things that bother me because it seems like bad manners to fight or be snippy in front of other people for fear of making them uncomfortable (I've been on the other side so I know how awkward it feels when others make a fuss or fight with their spouse). What's sad is that if I act more kind and more forgiving in public than in private, those actions show my husband that I care more about how other people, even strangers, feel more than him.

I'm not trying to be really hard on myself because I'm truly not a horrible person and I think I'm a pretty good wife. I just think we all need constant reminders because we all fall short sometimes.

"True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well-being of one's companion." - Gordon B. Hinckley


  1. I love this post -- especially the strangers part. I could be guilty of that and maybe only realizing it now.

    I would cry if my SIL wrote something like that about me.

  2. Thanks for the gentle reminder that we can choose self-improvement...not self-beating...improvement.

  3. To be perfectly honest, its great to hear that you are human, Liz. I feel this way a lot! Thanks for this one. ;)

  4. Yes, we all have shortcomings. Through recognizing them we can hopefully choose to make better choices.

    I need to work on this more with my children then my husband. My fuse can be short with them more then I would like.

    Thanks for the gentle reminder and for admitting that you are just like the rest of us :)

  5. I've never realized about that before... Yes, I sometimes am really hard with my parents. Things that as you say I wouldn't do to an stranger.

    Thanks for making me realized about that, I will try to change it! From now on I will give the best part of myselft to my family! Sure they deserve it!!!

  6. This is so true. Thank you for posting. This is a post that should be reposted every few months... Sometimes I forget the important things.


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