January 12, 2011

spellbound

Last night we watched one of the worst movies on the planet (like, I'm really embarrassed to admit it). One of the reasons why I hated it so much was because this was said in regards to parenting,

"Most of the time it is awful, awful, awful, awful . . . but then something incredible happens and then it is awful, awful, awful, awful again."

I'm pretty sure the screenwriter thought this was a clever thing and maybe someone out there laughed but I was just disgusted. Sad and disgusted. It reminded me of this article (via) in NY Mag called "All Joy and No Fun - Why Parents Hate Parenting". I cried the first time I read that title.

My days are not filled with "awful". Nor are they void of fun. They are, however, full of joy, wonder and complete gratitude that this is what I get to experience every day. Yes, it's true that changing diapers that make you gag is not fun. And it's true that when something "incredible happens" it is really incredible and makes all the diaper changing worth it. But, the most amazing thing about being a parent, is all the in-between times that some people might find boring or mundane. Maybe that makes me "simple" or "undriven" or "old-fashioned". I don't care because my heart loves this life. It is really, really wonderful.

A "spell on my heart" happened the day I became a mother. And it makes me happy every day, every single moment.

19 comments:

  1. Didn't you learn from Maid in Manhattan never to watch a JLo movie ? ;)

    I agree with you, even the worst moments as a parent are better than moments NOT as a parent. I would never trade what I have for that boring old life.
    -Lindsey

    mymimiandjack.blogspot.com

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  2. I love this post. This is a topic I've wanted to blog about for a long time, but never could quite figure out how to express. I have two little boys, ages 4 & 7, and my husband is currently in Iraq. There are days when parenting IS hard, for sure. But this is what I've always wanted to do, and even my worst parenting day is a million times more joyful than my best day when I worked outside the home. There is no place in the world I'd rather be!

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  3. I love this post! I have five children and sometimes they drive me bonkers but I enjoy every moment of it.

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  4. I completely agree with you. by the way, What an ADORABLE picture!!

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  5. I'm with Lindsey: we ought to know by now to avoid JLo movies like the plague. I also remember that NYTimes piece. It made me wonder what I was doing differently than the people in the article because I, too, enjoy motherhood. Maybe part of the key to give yourself license to relax around your kids and not worry about planning everything perfectly. (If I recall, the parents featured in the NYTimes article had very high expectations of themselves.)

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  6. You reminded me of this.
    “The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. … I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” (Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11). Anna Quindlen

    I heard it first in M Russell Ballard's April 2008 Conference talk "Daughters of God."

    I think a lot of times for parents that the "awful" thoughts about parenthood start creeping in when we don't live in the moment but continually think about the things that need to be done in the future rather than enjoying the process of making all those messes with our kids.

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  7. Amen from all mothers who enjoy being one even among poopie diapers and sleepless nights and endless mid-night lullabies. All worth it as soon you see their morning big smiles! And then all the everyday sweet mess starts again - that we shouldn't take it for granted. :)

    BTW, well written post.

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  8. Um...where are all these amazingly cute photos of you and william coming from as of late? LOVE LOVE this one.

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  9. I am right there with ya! I am actually one of those mom's who likes the simple stuff like changing diapers, giving baths, feeding, dressing, etc. Isn't that what we "played" our whole lives as little girls? My dream has come true. :)

    Oh and I watched that movie when I was still pregnant and it pretty much ruined me for ever wanting a water birth. ugh!

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  10. Lindsey, ha ha! Touché! In my defense, I never saw Maid in Manhattan and I didn't think The Wedding Planner was horrible. Now I know to lower my standards ten-fold when it comes to J-Lo movies. Usually David and I can laugh really hard at movies when it's bad acting, cheesy dialogue, etc. but this was so horrible that we both were speechless.

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  11. One of my favorite sayings is that "being a mother is like having your heart outside of your body." There is nothing more fun, adventurous, or joyful than being a mom!

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  12. I've never commented, but I've read your blog for quite a while...I think I came over from nie nie's blog? probably.
    anyway, that picture is just beautiful, wonderful, magic. I love it. I love what you wrote, too.

    Since I'm finally commenting I also wanted to let you know that I am still praying for you as you continue to heal from your miscarriage. I lost my first pregnancy right before Christmas 3 years ago. Now I have a 20 month old little boy and TWO more little boys on the way! My little boy is my treasure, and I love the way you love your William!

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  13. I think this is my first time commenting- but I have been reading your blog for a few months and love it. :) This post is beautiful. It is exactly how I feel. There has been nothing in my life like motherhood, I adore every moment- good and bad. Yes it is hard sometimes but everything worth it is. Thanks for putting it so beautifully. xo

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  14. I agree 100%! It always makes me sad when I hear people complain so much about their children or make it out that they are nothing but a pain in the behind.

    I am happy every day that I was blessed with my beautiful little boy and even when he is fussy, gets up five times a night, or won't stop crying I still wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

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  15. Although I'm sure that this comment will be unpopular, I have to say that I totally related to this movie quote. I am grateful for my children EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE, but being a parent is very, very hard...especially as kids become older and more independent - which can translate into back talking, defiance, etc. Although I would never go so far as to say that parenting is awful, I have had moments where I have had to close the door and cry because it is just so frustrating...whoever thought it could be this tough! But, for every bad moment where I think I am at wits end, there are those moments that make it all worth it.

    I just feel like the very difficult side of parenting needs to be honestly discussed...its not all roses and rainbows all the time...it can be really tough..and feeling frustrated about it doesn't make you a bad person and a horrible parent.

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  16. I know exactly which NY Times article you are talking about & it made me sad to read too! I love your thoughts on motherhood. Thank you for sharing. By the way I love the picture of you and your son, you look beautiful.

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  17. Parenting is pretty blissful when you first start out--everything is so new and delightful and fresh. Your little child adores you and thinks you hang the moon. How can that not be wonderful, right? I can understand where "Noni" is coming from though. As time goes on and more children come and those little spirits become bigger and have minds of their own, boy, do you find out what you are made of! And you sometimes what to hide in your closet and cry when some days it feels like the only things you hear are "No!" and "I don't want to!" and "I don't like this family!" and "This is the worst dinner ever!" LOL

    That being said, I cannot imagine another life. I cannot imagine these spirits being anywhere but here, and I count my blessings every day.

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