March 6, 2016


Several people have e-mailed me after writing this post and this one. Many of you have reached out to share your own stories. Many of you shared advice for what helped you get through those times, shared fears for your own futures and offered your love and support as we go through this together. I've been humbled and grateful for that love. You guys rock!

I wanted to share a couple of gems that I received that I felt were worth repeating. These words have been on my mind and really got me thinking about ways I can make positive changes, give myself (and others) grace and take care of myself.
My internet friend, Emily, has been such a supportive person through the last few years. I've never met her and yet, she takes the time to e-mail me pretty regularly and say exceptional things like this:

I know how it feels to end up getting to a place where it's hard to recognize yourself in your life. I look at what my husband and I have built together, our family and home together, and I don't know how I got so lucky. But there's not enough of me in my life. I think to myself, "If this is my life, then where are my friends? Why don't I look like myself? Why do I get hardly any time to do the things that I like to do?" I'll say to my husband that it's like that saying about when a tree falls in a forest. I'll say, "If I'm a fun person, but don't have friends to have fun with, then am I fun? Or if I am a great quilter or baker or dancer but never have time to quilt or bake or dance, then am I a great quilter/baker/dancer?" As women, we give so much of ourselves that sometimes it's hard to tell if there's even anything left.

Motherhood (and moves) messes with your identity and self-confidence because so much of your day is spent as Mom, and a lot as Wife, but I imagine that not very much is spent as Elizabeth. Then it gets hard to even know who that is anymore."

Boy! Did she nail it! I honestly can't get these thoughts out of my head. I've been contemplating so much about what I want out of my life. Not what's expected of me. Not what I should be doing for someone else, but what I want to do. I have spent so many years trying to make choices that will make everyone else pleased or proud of me. Life is too short for that.

I also love what another e-mailer, Anna, wrote: "The strong person is still in there, she was just going through an extra hard time. These trials are just footnotes - they don't define us. They can make us into better people, but they are not who we are. We are made of stronger stuff."

I love that! I am strong and so are you. We got this, friends!


  1. I am in this same place, and wow! It is good to know we are not alone. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the words of these smart friends. :)

    1. You are not alone! Life is tough but we are stronger. Keep on keepin' on, Brandy! :)

  2. My mom always said "Women can have it all, just not in the same decade."

  3. You know,
    I too have pondered this question. My answer really, is I am always ME, I have always been Me, I always will be Me. I give myself permission to move and change and grow with my circumstances. My core values remain the same. I know how I am and how I feel. You will get the time again to do the things you enjoy - and they might have even changed into new things that you enjoy by that time. Life is constant, change is constant, you remain the same but different. If that makes sense! you are thirty something year old you, not twenty year old you. You have changed and grown. and will continue to do so, god willing.
    As a mother of three young children, who works as a teacher four days a week, believe me, I GET IT :-)


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