March 19, 2013

habitual comforts

Living with your parents as an adult is a funny thing and brings back lots of great memories. The other morning I was feeding the boys breakfast at the kitchen table and my parents came into the living room, opened up their scriptures and began to read together. Then they knelt down and prayed together. Then they stood up, kissed and hugged and as they held onto each other, my mom scratched my dad's back and he said, "Scratch to the left please." It made me smile to myself because this scene was played out every morning of my growing up years under their roof (except it usually involved me as a teenager still in my pajamas with a bad attitude - sorry Mom and Dad!) It reminded me how much comfort children receive from having a routine and also how valuable it is for children to see their parents love and care for each other.
Two things (among many) that my parents have done really well in raising their children include both of those things. My parents are always consistent and steady in their habitual routines. Our home was full of people and our various life's necessities (with eleven children, you can imagine!) but it never felt completely chaotic because my mom kept calm and steady. She had a routine and stuck to it and we, her children, thrived from the constancy. That doesn't mean it was always perfect but it was comforting to have that to depend on.

The other thing they excel at was showing their affection. Sure, as a teenager I would roll my eyes and snicker when my dad would grab my mom from behind while she stirred the dinner or when they would dance to an Everly Brother's song in the kitchen but I always secretly smiled inside knowing that my parents loved each other and they weren't afraid to show it - even if their children teased them for it. It made me feel secure and loved knowing that they loved each other.

Maybe it's just me but I am realizing that I tend to remember more of the good things of my childhood and less of the bad. My parents aren't perfect (I know, it's hard to believe) and there were definitely some moments of contention in our home but almost all my memories are good ones because that was how life was when I was a child - good. I am not a perfect mom but I'm trying and most of our moments are good so I'm hoping that they forget most of my imperfections and think I did a pretty great job.


  1. That's it! I'm packing up the uhaul and coming to live there too :-) Sounds so awesome Liz...I hope my kids remember the good things and forget when I'm a grouchy jerk face.

  2. Well, I absolutely agree with everything you say here, except one thing.... Mom and Dad are pretty darn perfect. :P

  3. Love this post! It's so true—building good little habits can strengthen a family so much. Thanks for this lovely reflection!


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