May 9, 2011

growing up: 18 months

I took William to the bank the other day and the 20-something teller asked how old he was. I replied that he was 18-months-old. He looked at me kind of confused and said, "So, a year and a half?" I nodded and he asked, "When do people stop referring to their kids in months?" I tried to explain that parents normally do that because they change so much month to month. Especially this month, it seems.
This month has been a big milestone, especially at church. William is now old enough to go to our church's Nursery program. I've been looking forward to going to our adult meetings but he's not terribly fond of us leaving him. Any tips? I'm fine with just going cold turkey but the problem with that is the leaders taking care of the children bring him to me as soon as he starts crying. I certainly can't demand that they just deal with my screaming kid. Such a dilemma.

At this point:
- he's added these words to his arsinal - "choo choo", "eyes" (with pointing), "nose" (with pointing), "peas" (please), "yeah" (when I ask him if he's OK), "shoes", "hot" (even ice is "hot").
- I'm considering toilet training him. I know it seems early to some people but he's been going on the big toilet for several months as long as I get him there in time. He also knows how to hold it pretty well and hates wearing a diaper and getting his diaper changed. I've read about potty training in three days but I don't know anyone whose child has been able to successfully do it. I'm also worried about the being naked thing for three whole months. Sounds crazy to me.
- he carries around his little backpack all the time now. It is basically the cutest thing ever. If he has to take it off (to get in the car, for example) he gets really frustrated until he can put it back on again. People die over how cute he looks whenever we go out. Inside his "pack pack"? Water bottle, a small box of raisins, two or three trucks and a bag of veggie straws. What else do you neeed?

He is getting so big and so mature that it's heartbreaking to think about him growing up. I need another baby.

14 comments:

  1. On nursery- I'd speak to the Primary President about their policies on cold turkey. They'd be a great go between with the leaders. Cold turkey seems to be the way to go for most kids. They usually stop crying very quickly after you've gone. Just takes patience.

    On growing up- This year all of my chldren are in school. (10, 8 and 6.) My baby is in kindergarten. (So strange at 30 years old.) I kept thinking that I longed for another baby and then realized I just long for my current children to be babies again. With your little William I'm sure it's a mixture of both. Time moves far to swiftly. Much love and prayers on your behalf as you expand your family! (love your blog)

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  2. Liz,
    I did the "toilet training in 3 days" thing with all my kids, but I did adapt it slightly to suit each child and my needs...call me and we'll talk about it!

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  3. i tried the potty training in three days ... you can see how well it went for me: http://nikkidee1.blogspot.com/2011/02/hey-dont-you-know-im-supposed-to-be-in.html

    ill probably try again soon. hes telling me he is going potty when he does. but now that im back working part time, im going to have to figure out a way to do it, since i cant send him to preschool in sweats and no diaper :o)
    lbj is very very much on his own time table. as i am sure most kids are. but hes pretty much got me trained. he will go potty when he wants to. and ill just wait around for that day.

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  4. I'd plan to go with William to nursery for a few weeks just to get him used to it. Then I could also observe the routine/other kids/troubleshoot problems. My little guy was afraid of loud noises, but I didn't think to tell the nursery leaders that until I was in there with him and saw him frightened of loud kid. And I saw which songs they were singing so I could teach him those at home, stuff like that.

    We also used to go to the ward when no one was there (like during a weekday when it happened to be open) and just play in the room. Then my little guy had some positive associations with the nursery room.

    After warming him up for a few weeks, we'd stay for a few minutes then leave. We'd take his comfort objects for the nursery leaders to give to him if (when) he started to cry. Because they had something to do to help him (especially if they were overwhelmed by other kids), they were more willing to see if he could tough it out.

    I would just try to keep the lines of communication open with the leaders. I always checked on Charlie several times during nursery by listening outside the door (I didn't want to peek in and set him off again), and I let them know that I'd be doing that so they wouldn't feel stuck with my unhappy kid.

    It takes a few months of work, but now Charlie is a champ in nursery (even when there are substitute leaders he doesn't know).

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  5. I am currently the primary president of a student ward and have dealt with many children going into nursery. The best thing I've seen is to talk with the nursery workers and have one person who focuses on him. Plan on him crying, but tell them that if he cries for longer than 10 minutes to bring him to you, but that each time he stops to start the time over again. Some weeks will be better than others and gradually he'll realize that you are coming back. It is work, but most people are willing to help out. It also helps to go visit the kids in nursery during the week and have him get to know some of them. In my experience I would NOT advise going in there with him because it does not seem to help one bit, just prolongs the separation. Good luck with it!

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  6. My son went to nursery for the first time this past Sunday and had no problems. Two possible tips:
    1. I wasn't actually the one to drop him off. My husband did. Who is your son more clingy too? Which of you will be calmer and project less emotions of dropping your son off in nursery for the first time?
    2. I thought my husband was crazy thinking this would work but he said he was just gonna find him a ball (his favorite toy) to play with so he'd be happy. It completely worked. My husband's a genius.

    With that being said, I think it is completely personality. This was actually my third son and I was kind of sad that none of them cried when dropped off the first time. (You know, like they would miss their mom or something.) However, the other two both went through phases around 2, when they went crazy when dropped off at nursery.

    Good Luck.

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  7. I worked in nursery in a student ward when I was pregnant with my first. All kids are different but from what I saw, the kids that were dropped off figured it out a lot easier than the ones with parents around forever. It only took my son a week or two to figure out it was way more fun than Sunday school! Now I'm the primary president and my baby is barely nursery age. Our leader seems to prefer the parents staying but that didn't work for me since my husband and I both have commitments, so I just stopped into nursery to say hi (and brought my baby) a couple times, let her see the toys and snacks and realize everyone was having fun, then took her back with me to primary. Then once she was "legal" I left her and told them to bring her if she cried for more than 10 or 15 minutes, after letting them know what her favorite toys and distractions are. Often times, I think they are hesitant to go beyond the parents' comfort zone so if you talk to the president or the leader they will accommodate you. I have to echo the trick to teach him the songs they typically sing in there- I think that's helped a lot. I think it really only takes a couple weeks until they figure out you will be there- just make sure you pick him up as quickly as possible, because once they realize other parents are back it's pretty easy to have a serious meltdown!

    PS I love his little backpack attachment, that's so sweet!

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  8. I just discovered your blog and I think its fabulous! I have my own Baby W {wesley} and he is not such a fan of Primary as well--every week is a battle. best of luck to us both :)

    ashley
    www.littlemissmomma.com

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  9. Oh, he is so adorable! As the mother of five sons, I would highly recommend you potty train ASAP. The sons we started earlier, had a much easier time. You and he will be so glad it is done and have a wonderful sense of accomplishment. When they are 18 months, there is no power struggle. He is bright and ready to do it. We did spend a couple of weeks just running in underwear at home for some of them to simplify the doing it your self, so now is perfect time of year. It won't be long, until you can make trips away from home with no trouble at all.

    Love your blog, Noni

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  10. My son has had a rough time with nursery as well. Of course it didn't help that a month or two after moving into our new ward they put both me and my husband in nursery! We just got released a couple weeks ago, and our son freaks out for a bit, but eventually mellows out. And, having been in nursery, I find that that is the case with all kids. They freak out and then they are fine. They occasionally start crying randomly, but they get comforted, and they are fine. It's too bad that the nursery leaders you have bring your son to you- the child needs to learn that if they cry they don't get to go to mommy and daddy. They need to learn that it'll be OK, and that mommy and daddy will come back for them. Good luck- lucky for me my husband has to drop our son off cause I have to get to my primary class! :0)

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  11. if the situation dictates, I had success when if I had to be in the room with my child, I basically ignored them. I was there but didn't play with them or help them with their snack etc. Eventually they get tired of sitting on your lap with no interaction when there are so many other fun things to do. Good luck.

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  12. Oops, left the previous comment while my daughter was signed in instead of me. Kathryn doesn't have kids to have experience yet. Have fun with your little one.

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  13. I loved the Toilet Training in Less Than a Day method. They say you can start as early as 18 months and it worked for all three of my kids!

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  14. Try the towel potty training method.

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