May 22, 2014


It seems like I am filling my Pinterest board with inspirational quotes these days. For some reason, I've been fighting the deep-seated "standards" of what it means to be beautiful. It's probably because I'm about to raise a daughter and the prospect of teaching her so many things that I haven't mastered myself, is really scary. I've seen so many wonderful and inspiring messages about what modesty really is (for my boys and girls) and this wonderful quote by Diana Vreeland really struck me too: "You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked 'female.'"
I worry so much about finding a middle ground, for myself and for my daughter. I do believe that the real value in modesty lies in, as Paul says, "adorning themselves with good deeds," and why the valorous woman of Proverbs 31 is praised because "she clothes herself in strength and dignity" (via). I want my daughter to love her body for the amazing things that it can do. I want her to believe that she was created in the image of God and that her body and spirit make up her soul, which is really, really wonderful (definitely click on that link).

While I want my daughter to have confidence and love herself beyond the way she looks, at the same time, I don't think it's wrong to do what we can to highlight and celebrate our amazing bodies.

I wear make-up and it makes me feel good.
I get my hair highlighted and it brightens my face.
I like to wear clothes that flatter my body type and I feel better, kinder, more confident when I do.

So, where is the balance between loving ourselves for more than what we see in the mirror and also loving (and celebrating) these bodies we've been blessed with? Last night, I watched this TED talk and just cried as I realized how many women (including me) do this - we apologize for the way we look. Why? We don't owe prettiness to anyone. My value and worth and importance and honor does not lie in the way that I look or the way that anyone else looks.

I hope that my example will help teach my daughter to be the best version of herself and to know that she is a daughter of God with divine abilities. I hope that she will understand that the old song "kindness begins with me" applies to the kindness and grace she gives to herself as well as to others. I hope she will love to care for her body by treating it with respect and being fulfilled by what she's been given... cause I hope that for me too.


  1. Wonderful post! I went to try on some clothes at a store today and became so frustrated after looking into those flattering "back mirrors", so this post was just what i needed. :-)

  2. I love this, Liz. I love that you articulate so well the struggle of balance. It's important to care, but when do we care too much? I'm so guilty of being unkind to myself; when really I should be nothing but grateful! Once again, thanks for always posting uplifting things. I love your face!


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