if you can't say something nice . . .

Blogging is a funny thing. We put ourselves out there and hope that our readers will be kind. There will always be unkind words spoken by those unhappy few but for every rude person out there, there's a dozen nice ones. After seeing some nasty comments made on blogs and Instagram in the last month, I've been constantly thinking about how we feel this need to be "honest" in our society. It's as if "being honest" is a more valuable trait than being kind. I totally disagree.

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When I was visiting Lela in San Diego a few weeks ago, we were talking about how she has so many friends (or, rather, I was marveling about how well liked she is). In a round about way, I asked her what her secret is. She was being modest but she hinted that she thinks that she's pretty good at not being overly critical of anyone. When she pointed that out, I realized how true that is. People who are forgiving of your weaknesses make good friends and the best friends inspire you to be the best version of yourself. 

I tend to be pretty critical of myself and, sadly, other people as well. I think we all are that way to a certain extent but I wish I was better at not pointing out other's flaws - even if I don't vocalize it. I am so lucky to be married to someone who is incredible at never criticizing. I can honestly say that David is the least-critical person I have ever met. I am sure that he sees my many flaws but he is so kind that he has never pointed them out to me - even when I'm right in the middle of nicely giving some "constructive criticism". I saw a great quote on Pinterest the other day that said, "Your husband is only going to be as great as you think he is." I almost gasped when I read that because it is so true, and not just for husbands. Our friends, children and all other relationships in our lives will benefit from our positively thinking about them. Our actions reflect our thoughts and if you think kind thoughts about someone, you will treat them kindly too.

I remember my mom telling me about when she and my dad were first married and she was talking to a group of other newly-married women. As women often do when they get together, they were joking about the annoying habits their husbands had. My mom pitched in and said, "It drives me nuts that Russell doesn't fold up his wet towel before he hangs it up after he takes a shower!" All the other wives gaped at her and said, "Your husband hangs up his towel?" She realized after that how lucky she was and that things would've been better had she shown her appreciation for what he did rather than focusing on how he was falling short.

What I'm trying to say is, criticism isn't helpful. We are all full of flaws and I'm sure we hope that the people who are in our lives are willing to overlook those flaws. The world would be a better place if we would all offer each other the same courtesy. The best way to encourage someone to be great is by being great yourself. That's what I'm thinking about today.